Darwin's Finches, Overheard
Lisa Nan Joo
1. Least Concern? Are you negging me?
2. My father wasn’t a finch; nor am I. Good day, sir.
3. Don’t call me Common, punk. I’d like to see you occupy this niche.
4. Have you seen her, parading around with that twig, evicting invertebrates in the Galapagos display? A real finch wouldn’t deign to use tools.
5. Vulnerable. You can tell, from the pusillanimous beakage.
6. Yes, I remember Him, of course. Pangenesis this, variation that.
7. Have you ever tasted the nectar of a cactus? Dude. What are you doing Friday?
8. Should have diversified his own family genome, am I right?
9. Oh my god, no one talks to her. You know she feeds on the blood of other birds?
10. Memorise this: mitigation, preservation, reintroduction!
11. She’s a cannibal. We need to eradicate them, at least for the sake of the boobies. They have a hard enough time as it is, with that nomenclature.
12. Enjoying the display? Please consider making a tax-deductible gift to The Conservation Society. Trust me, your kids will not discover the joy of science from Bug Bingo.
13. The toilets are through South East Asia, back towards Early Humans.
14. Want to hear a joke? Darwin tortoise nothing. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha.
15. Critically Endangered, you say? Is it the monogamy?
16. The ugliest animal in this place? For me, it’s the naked mole rat. Bitch, get some eyes.
17. Don’t you dare try to curate me, sir!
18. Ha.
Feature image via 'Art Collection - The Metropolitan Museum of Art'
